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Hove / Παρος
My 3 year old son came back from nursery one day and called me a “Silly goose” which I found rather silly. 🪿
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The silliest insult someone has given you?
- Thread starter downham seagull
- Start date
All the usual 70's stuff for us growing up.
at work at lunch the other week 2colleagues was discussing some trainers . . .I asked for a look and said they're horrible, she replied they're not for you ya f***ing bender.
Whilst I appreciate it many placesd you'd get the sack, we all pissed ourselves laughing!
at work at lunch the other week 2colleagues was discussing some trainers . . .I asked for a look and said they're horrible, she replied they're not for you ya f***ing bender.
Whilst I appreciate it many placesd you'd get the sack, we all pissed ourselves laughing!
- Apr 19, 2018
- 1,918
A few months ago, when the mullet reappeared on the heads of many men in their early 20s around Brighton at least, I was in a pub on a university reunion and heard a member of staff refer to one mulleted man has having attained "peak virginity" which felt like a cruel, but quite inventive insult.
deletebeepbeepbeep
Well-known member
- May 12, 2009
- 21,111
Someone asked to borrow my phone the other day, they looked a bit dodge so I said no.
As I walked away he went 'oh what's that'. I turned around and he said 'dropped your gay card'.
Haven't heard that one since I was at school 30 years ago!
As I walked away he went 'oh what's that'. I turned around and he said 'dropped your gay card'.
Haven't heard that one since I was at school 30 years ago!
At my school, If you fumbled the ball or dropped something in the dining hall etc you would be met with loud cries of
“UNCO! UNCO”!
As in uncoordinated.
Was always quite funny.
“UNCO! UNCO”!
As in uncoordinated.
Was always quite funny.
Haha! People try that all the time when I’m out on foot patrol. I fell for it once, never again.
cheshunt seagull
Well-known member
- Jul 5, 2003
- 2,511
I was called a tosswanker many years ago by someone who I thought was a friend after much drink had been taken. Not a word I had heard before but I may have deserved it.
Justice
Dangerous Idiot
Well I hope you put him on half rations and made him do 50 press ups.
Ding Dong !
Boy I'm HOT today !
As a Locksmith ( not 24 hr anymore) i often wake up to messages from customers who have called in the middle of the night. I kept a recording of one I received about 6 years ago because it still makes me laugh to this day. This was the voice message word for word:
" Hello, you've got 24 hour f*cking Locksmith on your f*cking website site, and your phones off you little mug, so ring me back you c.*nt , cos I need to get back in my house, d*ckhead"
" Hello, you've got 24 hour f*cking Locksmith on your f*cking website site, and your phones off you little mug, so ring me back you c.*nt , cos I need to get back in my house, d*ckhead"
Shropshire Seagull
Well-known member
Going back half a century, one of my mates started calling his girlfriend a born-again virgin!
We presumed this was because he was getting "no" to his advances but we all knew her last boyfriend was getting "yes".
Well, that's what he told us ....
We presumed this was because he was getting "no" to his advances but we all knew her last boyfriend was getting "yes".
Well, that's what he told us ....
Justice
Dangerous Idiot
As a Locksmith ( not 24 hr anymore) i often wake up to messages from customers who have called in the middle of the night. I kept a recording of one I received about 6 years ago because it still makes me laugh to this day. This was the voice message word for word:
" Hello, you've got 24 hour f*cking Locksmith on your f*cking website site, and your phones off you little mug, so ring me back you c.*nt , cos I need to get back in my house, d*ckhead"
I used to do 24hrs more hassle than it’s worth. I’ve had people call me back the next day wondering why I didn’t answer the phone at 4am 
A punter from Sudan once told me and @Peacehaven Wild Kids to stick our job up AN arse
There weren't too many volunteers if any !
There weren't too many volunteers if any !
Algernon
Well-known member
I was playing footy against Alliance and Leicester at Patcham Place and deliberately blocked an opposing central midfielder from running back to his own half. He swung a punch, missed, then told me to "get back to the building site"
I've never ever set foot on a building site.
My favourite insult is to call someone a sausage, my second is dicksplash.
I've never ever set foot on a building site.
My favourite insult is to call someone a sausage, my second is dicksplash.
Some scrote just knocked on my door trying to sell me dog poo bags for £9.99. Had a dodgy handmade ‘Rehabilitation of Offenders’ ID card.
Politely told him to do one to which he replied with various profanities, then, much to my shock, told me to “get my hair cut” before luzzing a half-empty can of cheap energy drink in my general direction.
I wished him the best of luck with his ‘rehabilitation’.
Politely told him to do one to which he replied with various profanities, then, much to my shock, told me to “get my hair cut” before luzzing a half-empty can of cheap energy drink in my general direction.
I wished him the best of luck with his ‘rehabilitation’.
Godstar
Active member
A good friend of mine died in January & although he was a lovely bloke he was also a diehard Palace fan. This is the wreath that was sent…afterwards the florist said they were relieved when it left the shop!
Blinkers
Active member
- Jul 8, 2020
- 159
While working in Derby, some years back, I was walking along with a colleague off to a pub for a few pints of an evening. Some random on a bike cycled past and shouted at me “You.., you…, you grey haired c*nt!” Nothing else, just that. My colleague just looked at me and burst out laughing. He still thinks it’s one of the funniest things he’s seen. Derby is just soooo giving.