[Help] mental health - advice if possible please

[raymondo]

Unfortunately that sounds about par for the course these days. The NHS might be ok for physical ailments (if you can actually get into the system), but it is absolutely crap regarding mental health.

I can't see how being "functioning" make any difference, other than it means you are still breathing. I would get back to the surgery, stress your symptoms and insist on a quicker appointment - preferably face to face. Phone calls have become a cop-out and are not nearly as useful. If you can get in there, the GP will (probably) be sympathetic and may even help. Don't be abusive to the receptionist, because regardless how obstructive they seem (and are), they are only doing what they have been told. You don't want to get kicked off the practise list

Are you on any prescribed meds for this already?

Indeed, the OP should be receiving a much faster response from the GP, 10 or 12 days is a ridiculous length to have to wait. Personally, if that were typical for my issues I'd seriously consider changing to another practice.

 

[raymondo]

Some fantastic responses on here, with really good practical advice. What.A.Forum.

 

[The Clamp]

It all sounds so bloody simple from that! It's not though! Have people that have given that advice listened & heard the way that someone they love wants to commit suicide with the details, I f**king doubt it. It is the most terrifying thing you can hear. You get overwhelmed with all consuming guilt that you may have played a part in how they're feeling. If they actually do it, the ripple effects to people they don't even know are unimaginable.
I'll put this simply, this world will not be a better place without you being in it (I've quoted you but I'm not aiming it you, although it would be a worse place without you, even though I don't know you!).
Anyone that is feeling really shit that is reading this, speak to your partners, friends, bloody anyone, it will scare the shit out of them but even if you don't realise it, you not being here will be horrific. That's probably not on the helpful checklist but anyone that is considering it, you're loved by more people than you realise! Even people that you've crossed wires with on this forum will feel guilty if something happens to you!
And FFS could all of us spare a thought and think about the fact that we don't know whats going on in peoples life away from our keyboards or phones when bin fests occur on the random threads that there have been over the last few days. These petty arguments & squabbles, although may seem innocuous and funny because one of you may be giving 'banter' it may not seem like banter to the person on the receiving end.
I'd like to say can everyone just shut up and talk about the football but I don't actually think I comment on the football much!

It’s a fair point. And one I and others have made before at work. This is my take on it;

Every single conversation one has with any given suicidal person will be different. Training has to be simple because you can’t cover every nuance of every conversation with every different person.

I have found most suicide awareness/ prevention courses are there to instil confidence. Confident enough to have the conversation with someone who is suicidal.

I have dealt with maybe 80-100 suicidal people. Some have ideation, some just have a sense they’d be bette off dead. It’s important to be candid when having these conversations so that you can get them the correct help.
These sort of courses plus experience and other training have proved invaluable. Given me enough confidence to be frank and to the point. Saying the word suicide or asking “do you want to take your own life”? Is vital in getting the right help. It won’t put the idea in their head, it’s already there.

There is very little point in trying to tell a person that they are loved and the world is better off with them alive when they have already convinced themselves of the opposite. At that point they need emergency intervention . Those conversations are really better for when the person is in a safe space and less heightened.



But all our experiences are different. I do believe these sort of course have saved lives though.

Peace.

Edit, I hope this didn’t come across as blunt or rude. I didn’t intend that. Over the years I have developed a rather blunt approach to this topic. It helps me as much as the suicidal person.

 

[Zeberdi]

So here I still am, at least until tomorrow afternoon, medicated up-to the eyeballs with my addled mind and autoimmune, asthmatic body being far more dangerous and threatening to me than the virus itself and struggling hard not to go into freefall of depression and despair tbh.

 

[dangull]

Sorry to see this. Hope you are on the mend soon physically and mentally.

 

[Psychobilly freakout]

View attachment 158840

So as most people know, I was rushed into A&E on 19 March with breathing problems due to Covid - After all night on fluids, oxygen and Dexamethasone steroids, I was released Monday morning. Wednesday 21, morning a local GP called an ambulance for me after I registered with them temporarily and I was blue lighted back to hospital with a developing chest infection and breathing problems where I have been ever since.

I am a pretty stoical and strong person and have tried to keep positive through all this but I’ve been desperately ill, on nebulisers and very high steroids to try and control all the autoimmune responses my body is having to the virus - severe asthma attacks, fevers, oxygen depletion, extremely painful muscle spasms, violent vomiting, burning skin rashes, thyroid flare ups, chest pain, dangerously high blood pressure (all of which tbh I pretty much expected given my underlying health conditions).

What I didn’t expect was how difficult it would be to be in an isolation ward, 100s of miles from your nearest friends or family, allowed no visitors nor allowed out of my room, and only attended to by 3 nurses between 29 other patients or grumpy ancilliary workers who dont want to come into your room because of the notice stuck on the door. Ever since I have been here, the ward locked my own usual medication in a safe and the hospital was supposed to provide it but the medication has either been forgotten to be prescribed by an attending physician (after seeing me) or I have had to wait hours for it resulting in being very sick at times on top of the Covid. This morning I waited 5 hours for my morning meds (which included vital prednisone and crucial asthma prevention medication) because it hadn‘t been added to todays drug chart. Auxiallry Nurses keep counting out wrong doses (how difficult can it be to divide 5mg tablets into 40mg to work out how many tablets you need!?) and being unable to put on a BP cuff correctly to get an accurate reading.

For 4 days I was left in the same sweaty hospital gown that was too small - today they finally bought me a pair of pyjamas when I asked but they were so tiny (small boys probably) so I had to go back to the hospital gown. I have no toiletries and everytime I ask for soap, or anything else, it never arrives so I have stopped asking for anything now.

Maybe I’m feeling down because it’s not just the fact I am very ill in a strange hospital miles from home, with no visitors to bring me anything from home even if they were allowed to visit which they are not, but maybe its because I am in one of the worst ranked hospitals in the country, with a bare bone of unqualified staff being relied on to do jobs nursing staff should do and I am simply not getting consistent care or at the continual receiving end of passive aggressive behavior from people burnt out in their job if I dare asked for a jug of water or my overdue meds. Or maybe it’s the fact the only face to face contact I have had with other humans for the past 8 days is with masked health workers in gloves and apron coming in every 4 hours or so to put a breathing mask on me or stick a needle in me and getting out of the room as fast as is humanly possible because I am still infectious.

Or really maybe being on such high doses of oral steroids is making me angry and depressed because I can not sleep and have not slept for a week since treatment started.

I dont know what it is but it was enough to make me want to leave the hospital in the middle of the night Saturday and again this morning before I literally had a break down - problem is after walking a few yards, I tend to keel over and also cant leave without the prednisone to treat my autoimmune responses to the Covid infection.

So here I still am, at least until tomorrow afternoon, medicated up-to the eyeballs with my addled mind and autoimmune, asthmatic body being far more dangerous and threatening to me than the virus itself and struggling hard not to go into freefall.

Hang on in there fella, lots of people care about you, unfortunately for you, your in an in an unperfect storm, obviously your meds and concerns are real, so are the pressures and constraints of those treating you, who themselves could be going home to other vulnerable folk.
That and woefully inadequate under funding over decades, by all political parties. It is only natural for you to be worried and concerned, seriously my thoughts are with you.

May Jebus look out for you, and did you take a photo of the too tight pyjama bottoms, always a classic comedy look that cheers the family, I pull mine up just under my armpits

 

[Zeberdi]

Thanks PF - your words mean a lot at a time when I needed to hear them - sometimes a kind word is enough

And Harry Kane and Saka have just scored and that feels really normalising

And no, you dont get to see the pj’s - it’s ugly

 

[Goldstone Guy]

Get well soon and I hope you leave hospital soon. Yes the steroids mess up your sleep and can affect you mentally. Sorry the care doesn't sound great but the staff are likely to be trying their best in impossible circumstances so try not to get too frustrated (easy for me to say I know). Good luck.

 

[Cotton Socks]

Sorry to hear you're going through this @Zeberdi I hope things improve for you quickly.

@mrjon1976 how are things for you now?

 

[Zeberdi]

Get well soon and I hope you leave hospital soon. Yes the steroids mess up your sleep and can affect you mentally. Sorry the care doesn't sound great but the staff are likely to be trying their best in impossible circumstances so try not to get too frustrated (easy for me to say I know). Good luck.

I think you are right - it’s partly the steroids but I’ve just literally balled my eyes out in a really chaotic emotional episode for several minutes after being told there’s yet another issue with meds not being written up in the correct dose. - Have been told now that the immflamatory resoonse to the virus is likely effecting my central nervous system - which given my underlying neurological condition, that makes sense because I’ve had massive flare ups of that this week - with depression and mood change caused by inflammation of brain cells apparently-

I’m just trying to rationalise why I’m blubbering like a baby one minute, want to throw a brick through the wall the next.

What a bloody mess I’m in.

 

[Goldstone Guy]

I think you are right - it’s partly the steroids but I’ve just literally balled my eyes out in a really chaotic emotional episode for several minutes after being told there’s yet another issue with meds not being written up in the correct dose. - Have been told now that the immflamatory resoonse to the virus is likely effecting my central nervous system - which given my underlying neurological condition, that makes sense because I’ve had massive flare ups of that this week - with depression and mood change caused by inflammation of brain cells apparently-

I’m just trying to rationalise why I’m blubbering like a baby one minute, want to throw a brick through the wall the next.

What a bloody mess I’m in.

Who knows what the real cause is. Might be the steroids, might be the virus, or the lack of sleep, being in an unfamiliar environment, the stress of being unwell and scared. Most likely a combination of them all.

The important thing is you remind yourself that you will get better and it won't be like this forever. A bit like being a Brighton fan in 1996. As someone else has said, hang in there.

 

[Live by the sea]

I hope you get to leave soon . Try to sleep as much as you can .

 

[Change at Barnham]

Good luck Zeberdi. Read this in the knowledge that all of NSC will be rooting for you and hoping your situation soon improves.
Most of us aren't very eloquent and can't always choose the right words, but try and relax in the knowledge that we all want you to feel well soon.

I suggest you lay back, close your eyes and visualise Evan Ferguson out muscling the United defence to smash home our 87th minute winner that sends us through to the FA Cup Final.
Keep going my friend, you are already closer to feeling better. Plus, the international break will soon be over.

 

[Eric the meek]

Good luck Zeberdi. Read this in the knowledge that all of NSC will be rooting for you and hoping your situation soon improves.
Most of us aren't very eloquent and can't always choose the right words, but try and relax in the knowledge that we all want you to feel well soon.

I suggest you lay back, close your eyes and visualise Evan Ferguson out muscling the United defence to smash home our 87th minute winner that sends us through to the FA Cup Final.
Keep going my friend, you are already closer to feeling better. Plus, the international break will soon be over.

Seconded. All of that.

Zeberdi, you may be in a mess right now, but this will pass. Things can and do change. One thing you can do is keep posting on here. There are many good people on NSC. Some will reply to you and send you their positive energy.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

I think you are right - it’s partly the steroids but I’ve just literally balled my eyes out in a really chaotic emotional episode for several minutes after being told there’s yet another issue with meds not being written up in the correct dose. - Have been told now that the immflamatory resoonse to the virus is likely effecting my central nervous system - which given my underlying neurological condition, that makes sense because I’ve had massive flare ups of that this week - with depression and mood change caused by inflammation of brain cells apparently-

I’m just trying to rationalise why I’m blubbering like a baby one minute, want to throw a brick through the wall the next.

What a bloody mess I’m in.

Seconded. All of that.

Zeberdi, you may be in a mess right now, but this will pass. Things can and do change. One thing you can do is keep posting on here. There are many good people on NSC. Some will reply to you and send you their positive energy.

I second that.

You clearly have your phone with you. Some discrete recording of the sound of some of the shitehousery over your food and meds might be an idea. Don't get mad, get even (after you have recovered), and all that.

Best wishes.

 

[LamieRobertson]

Blimey Zeb….that’s a whole list of things there fella…..do I send the cake with the file in the middle so you can saw through the bars or would a rope do, how many floors up, so I know how long it needs to be

Wishing you better health and a successful escape attempt over the next few days

 

[junior]

You need to complain. I don't mean complain to a nurse or doctor. I mean go on the hospital website where they must have a function for making complaints.

 

[Zeberdi]

I second that.

You clearly have your phone with you. Some discrete recording of the sound of some of the shitehousery over your food and meds might be an idea. Don't get mad, get even (after you have recovered), and all that.

Best wishes.

I feel a bit calmer - night sister has just started and is being a real doll - sorting out my meds and brought some soup. Unfortunately cant eat the soup or enjoy the coffee as my taste buds are shot and it all tastes like old gun metal literally.

But yes Harry, the only thing that has kept me sane the past 5 days in this room, is logging everything on my ipad with the view to sending it all to PALS - I will probably not send it, the value is the cathartic process of actually writing it.

 

[herecomesaregular]

I feel a bit calmer - night sister has just started and is being a real doll - sorting out my meds and brought some soup. Unfortunately cant eat the soup or enjoy the coffee as my taste buds are shot and it all tastes like old gun metal literally.

But yes Harry, the only thing that has kept me sane the past 5 days in this room, is logging everything on my ipad with the view to sending it all to PALS - I will probably not send it, the value is the cathartic process of actually writing it.

Glad to hear some more postive news. Get well soon. My experience in recent years visiting patients and family in hospital is that unfortunately what staff are doing has to be watched or checked carefully. There is too much assumption that nurses/nursing assistants "know what they are doing" (eg right meds, right dose, right time, giving patient access to enough fluids etc). I'm not happy to have to say that but i was really disappoined with the basic care standards on too many occasions. Vulnerable patients need visitors to keep an eye on things. I would always recommend taking in your meds from home also regardless of what a paramedic or GP says. A friend who was diabetic went in via ambulance, was told to leave her meds at home the hospital pharmacy would provide them. For some meds this took ..... 48 hours, ridiculous.

 

[Cheshire Cat]

Thanks PF - your words mean a lot at a time when I needed to hear them - sometimes a kind word is enough

And Harry Kane and Saka have just scored and that feels really normalising

View attachment 158844

And no, you dont get to see the pj’s - it’s ugly

Definitely send your complaints to the PALS - they might not do anything about them, but unless you do something, nobody will know and assume you are just another satisfied customer (customer being the operative word these days with the NHS).

And don't take any crap from the doctors, who despite what they keep saying are still very well remunerated.