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Funnily enough, someone on here who writes for a living spent much of last night in the pub writing up a treatment for something they will run by Pompous in due course. As for a spoof hooligan memoir, that's already been done - by Ivor Baddiel (David's brother) - and it was shit. This is a bit...

And here's the scores on the doors. How did your so-called hooligan top lad do. Is he a man or a mouse. Or a mug. Or a macaroni? Who is the Weakest Link goodbye. 1. How many times did Blackburn get run at Ewood Park in the 83-84 season? CORRECT Clever lad. Yes, it's a famous trick question...

No idea, to be honest. I only saw him when we were going on a mission, and he always wore a balaclava. I thought he was being clever in case there was cameras, but many years later I heard on the grapevine that he was embarrassed by his excema. Have also since heard via Moggers' seventh ex-wife...

I've got a loaf, thanks. Only difference is, mine is white and bleeds the Queen's blood, yours is wholemeal and smells of sandals. And you, moosh (is that how you spell it - mush, mooch? f*** it, whatever), are starting to f***ing annoy me. And you don't want to see me annoyed, it ain't pretty...

Have I been had? At first I thought Pompous was kosher. He mentioned Longpockets, who was one of the known Brighton boys in the early 80s. But the more Pompous posts, the more I think he's a fantasist (ie bullshit artist, scuse my French). He probably only knows about Longpockets from reading...

There really are a lot of half-sharps on this thread, who don't have a clue. ITK 101 respect your elders, the people you are dissing on this thread are the old school bigboys that kept you clean-necks from shitting biscuits at the Goldstone in the 80s. I remember us Charlton being ran in '83...