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I'm much more concerned with how easy it is to get out of Southampton than I am with how easy it is to get to.

Life just keeps getting worse.

No.

Of the four likely contenders, I want Norwich to go up purely because it's the only one I've not been to. If I'm being honest, I barely watch football on television so the quality of other teams football doesn't really bother me. Although I found it amusing when for a few years one of Norwich...

I can't emphasise enough how much I hope Southampton and Leeds get absolutely thrashed in the play offs. Like, beaten so badly their players look at themselves and go "you know what lads, sod this for a game of soldiers, I'm going to do an apprenticeship in welding" and they have to skip next...

Oh shit, I forgot that connection. I'd take Leeds actually winning the European Cup over having that twat's face anywhere near any football match I might actually go to.

Better beer in Leeds though.

I once told some lad in a pub toilet in Leeds that I was a Brighton fan, to which he reacted with an outraged "Brighton! They're the worst!" Even the other Leeds fans in the toilet seemed a bit confused by that to be honest. Anyway, the moral of the story is, they're all a bunch of pricks.

Bold of Middlesbrough to send the keeper up then with the whole of extra time still to go.

Is there a chance that Southampton might be consumed within a singularity and cease to exist both in space and time? If not, I question the assertion that there's "all to play for"

It's not a goal that screams "this guy should be playing in the Premier League". Maybe I'm just in a bad mood.

I'm in no fit state to handle subtley today.

Oh, probably. My works Christmas party was last night so my irony filter isn't functioning as well as I might like. The same can be said for various other functions and faculties but I won't get into that.

Presumably you heard this from somebody who had never driven on the M11, never been to Ipswich, never been to Norwich, and had never seen a map?