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Hope you get outta there and are on the mend very soon. We all seem to get tested in this life, through on-going challenges or situations that explode like yours. I could go further down the philosophical/mystical path with all of this but it's a football forum so I'd better not.

Mate, I feel for you. The human unconscious can be a thorough bitch. Of course you're not dumb or stupid. You're brave enough to reach out. The bottom line is, depression, anxiety and hopelessness are only feelings and feelings can't hurt you as such. Sure, they're rubbish feelings but just go...